Friday, July 31, 2009

I think I'm developing a case of
carpal funnel-cake syndrome.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

The average person forgets 3 things a day.
I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaay above average.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Yeah, I saw the writing on the wall.
I just read between the lines.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Before you're flattered when someone says, "That's deep,"
Make sure you know THEIR context.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Just noticed this:
'hater' is just 'heart' spelled sideways. Sort of.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

OK, this is disturbing...
even natural remedies have disclaimers.
Had a depressive episode yesterday.
Would rather have had a "very special" episode.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

So what if he was wearing "Mom Jeans"?
At least they weren't hangin' off his ass!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Just watched "Supersize Me".
I think I'll be fasting for a while.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Am I the only one who gets a giggle when I hear there's a show called,
"The Best Thing I Ever Ate"?
Oxymoron x 2: Serious Gamer.
Doesn't make sense. I am one.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Based on the last 2 days, I think we've proved a wise Latina can be just as overscrutinized as anyone else.

Monday, July 13, 2009

When I get up the courage, I'm gonna walk into a Staples and ask,
"How many staples do you actually sell?"

Social Networks are great. You can really be yourself...or someone else.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Memo - self: Do not use the following names in front of wife for at least 30 days:
Zoe. Saldana. Uhura.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Memo to Spock: If Uhura continues to push up on you like that,
to wait 7 years for the next Pon Farr would be highly illogical.
If there are 29 proven dimensions of compatibility,
how many UNproven dimensions are there?

Friday, July 10, 2009

I can't watch Tyra's show anymore. Today she used the phrase "leave your mama's breast" a dozen times, and I found myself thinking about breasts way too much after that.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Thinking how appropriate that the last muzak I heard at the dentist's office was
"Things could only get better..."

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Maybe all the people who said, "Rest in Peace" can finally allow him to do so.

Monday, July 6, 2009

I'm watching Monster-in-Law thinking, "Barbarella"..then I'm thinking J-Lo AS Barbarella!
Then my wife hits me. She always knows, man.