Julie and Julia inspired me.
I will blog about nothing for 365 days.

I just found out Chia seeds are edible. Yum.
Then I found out there's a Chia Spongebob. Bleh.

I was just thinking. I've lived here all my life,
and NEVER ridden the Pink Pig.

Coming soon - Tyra Banks and America Ferrera in
Coyote Ugly Betty!

OK, Johnny Depp made the People cover again.
Not surprised. I'm straight, and even I think he's sexy.

I watch way too much television and play way too many video games. I am now a kid again.
Does that mean I'll live to be about 90?

I realize I've been away for a while so I create a new post.
I then realize that no one is reading this. Hmmm...

Sometimes I try to exceed the dimensions of my programming.
It usually ends up in a fatal crash.

I was trying to buy a Boss' Day card, but couldn't find one that said what I really thought.
Guess the card companies won't publish stuff that'll get someone fired.

If it stars certain members of the Jackson family,
won't it be a SUR-reality show?

The reason Stan should NEVER have sold out.

TOTAL Star Wars geek question:
Are there any Jawas that are also Jedi? Sandpeople? Gungans?

Listening to the retrospective, I realized
Peter Noel and Mary just wouldn't have been as poetic.

Request to God: I know this is a little far-fetched, but can you speed up the writers in my head
so I can be wittier in conversations?

In the midst of deciding what to blog about, I hear about Swayze.
Puts it all in perspective.

I sincerely am questioning whether honesty is truly the best policy.
Just lie to me until I decide I can handle the truth. I'll do the same.

Oxymoronic thought #872:
Take the day off - it's Labor Day.

Whitney's comeback was a struggle.
Her voice is cracked.

I absolutely REFUSE to blog about the $9 sandwich and drink I had today.
There is no way I'll ever publicly admit...never mind.

I only blog when I have something to say, so I won't be blogging today.
Wait. Did I just...?

I will no longer psychoanalyze myself.
So don't ask me why I said that.

Seems every girl that ever truly liked me had self-esteem issues.
Now, I do too.

What is a back 40?
Why do so many movie farmers have one they're not using?

Always wanted 2 jars in my kitchen: one "Cap'n Crunch", one Crunch Berries.
Just as a conversation piece.

$40 dinner for 2 with my wife was bad enough...
Now it's the same price with my son.

No, thank you, spambot followers,
I already had my brains ****ed out today.

I'm pretty sure the box at Facebook that says, "What's on your mind?"
is just asking to be polite.

I resented when my kids called me a dirty old man.
I'm only 44.

Tell your teacher friends,
It's not a furlough, just an opportunity for community service credits.

So what crime against humanity or indignant routine should I perform?
I want a beer with the President, too.

I think I'm developing a case of
carpal funnel-cake syndrome.

The average person forgets 3 things a day.
I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaay above average.

Yeah, I saw the writing on the wall.
I just read between the lines.

Before you're flattered when someone says, "That's deep,"
Make sure you know THEIR context.

Just noticed this:
'hater' is just 'heart' spelled sideways. Sort of.

OK, this is disturbing...
even natural remedies have disclaimers.

Had a depressive episode yesterday.
Would rather have had a "very special" episode.

So what if he was wearing "Mom Jeans"?
At least they weren't hangin' off his ass!

Just watched "Supersize Me".
I think I'll be fasting for a while.

Am I the only one who gets a giggle when I hear there's a show called,
"The Best Thing I Ever Ate"?

Oxymoron x 2: Serious Gamer.
Doesn't make sense. I am one.

Based on the last 2 days, I think we've proved a wise Latina can be just as overscrutinized as anyone else.

When I get up the courage, I'm gonna walk into a Staples and ask,
"How many staples do you actually sell?"

Social Networks are great. You can really be yourself...or someone else.

Memo - self: Do not use the following names in front of wife for at least 30 days:
Zoe. Saldana. Uhura.

Memo to Spock: If Uhura continues to push up on you like that,
to wait 7 years for the next Pon Farr would be highly illogical.

If there are 29 proven dimensions of compatibility,
how many UNproven dimensions are there?

I can't watch Tyra's show anymore. Today she used the phrase "leave your mama's breast" a dozen times, and I found myself thinking about breasts way too much after that.

Thinking how appropriate that the last muzak I heard at the dentist's office was
"Things could only get better..."

Maybe all the people who said, "Rest in Peace" can finally allow him to do so.

I'm watching Monster-in-Law thinking, "Barbarella"..then I'm thinking J-Lo AS Barbarella!
Then my wife hits me. She always knows, man.

If a medication ad says "do not take this if you're pregnant or may become pregnant", doesn't that reduce the demographic by a HUGE margin?

The nest isn't empty, but...

A few more days will mark 1 solid month of producing the comic strip. Next month, I will try to fine tune things like characterization and clean imagery. Then it's off to the submission stage - maybe it'll happen this time...

In the midst of all the tweets, texts and status updates....
I wonder how many people prayed?

I typed a long post at a support group site, but this is more appropriate for everybody else.

140 characters exactly. (a comment on Twitter)

How did they come up with the character limit? Do you have any idea how hard it is to be witty, poignant, and coherent in 140 characters or

I AM THE US GOV'T

Today, I used one account's Overdraft Protection to keep a check from bouncing in a different account.
If only I could print my own money, I'd be set.

The 2nd Sunday Edition

digital

Ah, the new technology. We now get fewer channels than we did when I was my son's age...

According to a letter analysis, I am an open-minded, exciting, broad-minded, social butterfly with a very good physique and looks who is always smiling and making others smile, causes a lot of trouble, likes to work, but you always wants a break, has trouble trusting people, is jealous, and can be very quiet when I have something on my mind.

Mostly true. Anyone want to guess which parts are false?

Am I an independent learner....
or just plain anti-social?

The universe expands endlessly in all directions...
that means I AM the center of it. Thank you.

Read an e-mail about a baby shower for expectorant mothers...
but that's not how it was written.

I want to see "Obsessed","The Soloist", "Wolverine", and "Star Trek"
not necessarily in that order.

Farewell, Bea Arthur. Say hi to Lucy for us.

Saw Chitty Chitty Bang Bang on stage last night.
It was a pretty Chitty production (no, that's good).

taxonomically speaking...

If there were actual mermaids on Earth,
they probably wouldn't have breasts.

OK, No Offense...

Wasn't it a waste of time to analyze whether the President's
choice of dog was a broken promise?

Not to get sappy, but...

Give a child whatever love you can today.
They might not remember you tomorrow.

When are we going to have an
Exceptional Teachers' Week?

Psyched

I just found a kindred blogging spirit:
http://theshortestblogintheworld.blogspot.com/

Intelligent Life

In response to mankind's stupidity, even the Octopi are getting smarter.
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2009/02/an-octopus-mana.html

On the 'politcal cartoon'

Humor is always risky, often misconstrued,
but I think the Post knew exactly what it was doing.

Forget Gas

I wish I could set my salary daily based on what I think I deserve that day.
Trust me, I won't ask for more than I should. Really.

This day in history

1934 - The first driving class offered.
Ever since: parents cringing at the thought of handing over the keys.

Happy Counselor's Week!