My brother went to the dentist.
They removed his sweet tooth.

A guy today said all women are crazy.
A guy...............................crazy.

Don't tell people you fell off the wagon
if you're not on it that often.

Am I the only one who sees the irony in auditions for
Gospel ... Idol?

˙spuɐɥ ɹıǝɥʇ uo ǝɯıʇ ɥɔnɯ ooʇ ʎɐʍ ǝʌɐɥ
uʍop ǝpısdn ʇxǝʇ ǝdʎʇ oʇ ʍoɥ ʇno ǝɹnbıɟ oʇ ǝɯıʇ ǝʌɐɥ oɥʍ ǝןdoǝd

I'm still not sure what the difference is between
'following' and 'stalking'.

The Library of Congress will be collecting all the tweets ever sent.
There won't be room for anything else after that.

Arizona wants to make it against the law to be an illegal alien.
Redundant.

I told my students today that I didn't know how to ride a bike.
I wasn't worried about losing cool points. Didn't have any anyway.

My other blog
is a BMW.

I remember when you couldn't even name a movie "KICK ASS,"
Let alond advertise for it on television. But yeah, I want to see it.

While listening to talk radio, I couldn't help but wonder -
where is the 'liberal media' these guys keep fussing at?

For the 168 in Oklahoma City

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I have many people I could talk to
But few that I actually will.

You will never get leadership
from someone you think you have to push.

No offense to the Russians, but
did we run out of American orphans?

If you feel like you've lost your best friend
is it possible they're just with that missing sock from the dryer?

I want to lead with my strengths,
but people keep demanding from my weak areas.

It was so much easier when all I had to do
was fix toys with Superglue.

When someone who knows you only casually tells you to get a haircut,
maybe it IS time to get one.

I would imagine that the winged horses
Did not get along with the unicorns. Professional jealousy.

The reconnect is always better than the disconnect.
I'm only talking about utilities here. Or am I?

History may repeat itself,
but the class still isn't listening.

I can live with change.
Just not comfortably.

Finally, the broadcast can turn its attention back to golf...
Wait a minute. Golf bores me. Can we talk about infidelity again?

I wish my dog
could wash cars.

What's Pat Robertson going to say
about the quake in CA?

Peer pressure doesn't work if
you don't think of people as your peers.

Idon'tPad.
Sorry.

April.
Fool.

Why isn't anyone mentioning politician's salaries
as a budget issue?