Always wanted 2 jars in my kitchen: one "Cap'n Crunch", one Crunch Berries.
Just as a conversation piece.

$40 dinner for 2 with my wife was bad enough...
Now it's the same price with my son.

No, thank you, spambot followers,
I already had my brains ****ed out today.

I'm pretty sure the box at Facebook that says, "What's on your mind?"
is just asking to be polite.

I resented when my kids called me a dirty old man.
I'm only 44.

Tell your teacher friends,
It's not a furlough, just an opportunity for community service credits.

So what crime against humanity or indignant routine should I perform?
I want a beer with the President, too.